Sent on this extremely perilous mission by the elders of your homeworld (who evidently dislike you), you come prepared with your comical sense of humor, Mark VII multi-function backpack, snazzy spacesuit and Blastola assault weapon. Actually, make that "ammo-less Blastola assault weapon"; you start out defenseless with an empty gun.
Fortunately for you, cans of Blastola Cola can be found about to power said gun, conspicuously placed for easy access. While we've known for years that drinking over-marketed soft drinks rich in caffeine and sugar heightens ones physical performance to athletic proportions, only now, in this incredible future, can it be used to power high-tech weaponry!
Teleporting into the first of the Tambian worlds, you're pitted against a swarm of hungry birds (in both red and blue varieties) and wriggling green worms. While one would assume you could simply stand back letting nature take its course in an explosion of feathers and slime, you unfortunately have to deal with this nuisance firsthand by putting them on the bad end of your blaster.
And they're not the only ones, as these feathery fiends are merely the beginning. Through this world's seven other environments including Lake Siri, the Tabian Moon, Haunted Castle, Killer Bee Shed and other xenophobia-inducing areas, you'll have to fight off everything from bouncing, flaming Pyreballs to robotic VFOs!
Space Pollen, Bouncing Matildas, Gigos, Beelunkers, Cycloctopuses, Trimodal Ectospheres, Trispinnian Dirvishes and other equally deadly (and hard to pronounce) life forms will be present, attempting to trip you up. Thankfully, the previously mentioned cans of cola can be found right off the bat; collecting multiple cans will increase your firepower up to five times normal, allowing you to more efficiently vaporize your enemies.
Boots boost your jumping ability, while lanterns allow you to view darkened caves and spaces. The Wand allows you to teleport past objects and foes. Shields endowing you with temporary invincibility will let you run through a crowd of enemies unharmed, corkscrew blasts allow you to fire shots covering a wider area, and Life Shields give you another chance at continuing your quest.
While the fate of the world doesn't rest in your hands, the tri-millennial celebration requiring the stolen treasure does -- so get to work!